Too Long To Tweet- Thoughts on Life That You Didn’t Ask For

1) Walking a dog in high heels screams “I have a death wish.” This morning I took Scout out before I left for work and was at a full 45 degree angle the entire time. She gets so damn excited by squirrels and has no regard for my springy desire for wedges.

2) In related news- I realized last night that, in my head, my dog’s inner dialogue is teen-angst Sally Draper. It is not lost on me, that this is probably because I identify so closely with Sally’s snarkiness. Several times in last night’s Mad Men premiere, I was absolutely giddy about her mean-ness.

Gems included:

“She acts like she’s 25 just because she uses tampons…”

“First of all… I don’t know why you’re counting my meals…” (Said to her “I-Eat-My-Feelings,” formerly fat, mother.)

But I think Cosmopolitan’s digital director, Abby Gardner, put it best…

3) Melissa McCarthy throwing a toaster at her “basketball players” was the highlight of my Saturday night. And Sunday morning. And the other 6 times I’ve watched this video.

4) I’m so super pale that a walk on the canal and an outdoor beer left me a rosey red color that screams- Why is this girl not outdoors more? Is she related to Casper the Friendly Ghost? Why the hell did she choose an oddly cut v-neck that has created tan (burn) lines on her, inopportune for any other top she might want to wear?

5) Is there anything more ridiculously depressing than accidentally wearing a really cute outfit on a day of boring? And, I know, I know, we should dress for fabulous every day. Insert Coco Chanel or Audrey Hepburn quote here. WHATEVER. That’s not who I am. I’m the girl who, if she had her choice (and it were socially acceptable), would live in v-neck t-shirt and stretchy work out capris (While not working out at all. Instead, maybe eating something). So when I happen to put together an outfit that makes me feel particularly kick ass, and I have nothing but BLAH that day? I get irrationally bitter and feel like I’ve been somehow cheated.

6) Stop bitching at me for live tweeting tv shows. It’s not my fault you’re not watching it. As far as I’m concerned, the joy of viewing TV shows with a large social following, is as much about the social experience as the content. (In some cases, i.e. The Bachelor, with no redeeming content value of its own, the social component is the only reason I tune in.) So if you’re NOT watching the show? You should probably stop refreshing your Twitter feed.

(Of Note: This is advice I have to follow myself. If I get sucked into something else during Scandal, I purposefully avoid Twitter all evening. And if I don’t? I’m obligated to not yell at Tweet-ers for spoiling it. It’s social media. I’m aware of know how it works.)

7) My “I Have a Dog” post received a ton of hits last week. Thanks for that, random people who don’t usually read my blog, and probably aren’t reading this mess. I must say- this post started out, seeming like a super good way to share the random thoughts I had that were too long for Twitter and too short for individual blog posts. Now I may just be rambling…

In related news, I’m also writing a weekly column of sorts for twentysomething Indy, an online magazine with so many articles far more interesting than anything I would say. But, in the event you happen to read this, and are insane enough to think “GOD. I just can’t get enough of her. I NEED more,” feel free to click away. Highlight? I have my own logo. I’m pretty proud of that.

That’s all for now people. Have a lovely start to your week.

I’m having a What Would Jesus Do moment.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written here.

I almost wrote its been a long time since I had rage but as my family, friends and next door neighbors who sometimes probably hear me yell can confirm, that’s just not true.

It’s just that, with all the election stuff, with being busy at work and being busy working on my New Years resolution of saying yes more, I’ve been far more busy doing than writing.

Until today.

As I scrolled through my Twitter timeline this morning, something I do several times in a day, a tweet caught my eye.

It read, “Addison [the tweeter's daughter] just saw a rainbow flag in a neighbor’s yard and said, “I want one of those in my bedroom.” Oh the challenges of parenting today.”

I debated a lot about responding to the Tweeter, but I do not follow him, nor do I know him personally. I also thought about posting the actual tweet here and linking to the Tweeter on here- his account is public which signifies to me that he is fine with being open about what he is teaching his child.

But my anger isn’t really about him, specifically. Nor do I think that my feelings or my beliefs could affect his. So instead I turn here, where I turn in moments of sheer frustration, to let it out.

First of all, there are only aren’t a lot of things I’d consider myself an expert in. Little girls? Totally one of them. Addison, whomever she may be, wants the flag because it’s pretty. It’s colorful and it’s bright and she wants that to decorate her bedroom because, if I had to guess, she loves bright colorful things the way most little girls do.

What this father did, through his reaction to her as well as broadcasting to the world through his tweet, is to give the impression that there is something wrong with flying a rainbow flag. He’s projected his intolerance and judgements onto what is arguably just a symbol, no different from the cross he may wear or the American flag outside of his house.

But I guess the real issue here is the larger implications, the ones his daughter couldn’t possibly understand yet.

The line from Dennis Leary’s stand up act that has been floating around the Internet (See Below.) immediately popped into my head as I thought about the world this man is creating for his child.

Because while Dennis Leary’s sentiment discusses race, the principle isn’t exclusive to it. Parent’s views shape children’s views and that goes for hate and intolerance of all forms. Intentionally or not this man just planted the seed that people- people who may be gay, may support gays, may have a son or daughter just like his who is gay are wrong. These people, willing to show their pride in who they are and the ongoing fight for equal rights, are bad and not just that, but they are to be avoided.

And to take it one step further, while I don’t know the child in question, I can’t help but wonder “What if?” What if that child someday realizes she’s gay? What if her best friend confides in her about his or her sexuality? Should her reaction to be to recoil as her father’s was at the mere mention of a rainbow flag? Should it be to cast this person out, as something she shouldn’t want in her life just as she was taught to over a simple flag? Why is this father making his daughter carry around the burden of his own judgement and discriminatory ways?

In the man’s Twitter bio, he quotes a popular Christian hymn, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love, Here’s my heart O, Take and seal it, Seal it for thy courts above.”

Can someone find me the passage of the bible that instructs us to judge our neighbors, to teach intolerance and to turn what is arguably a beautiful gift of nature and view it through the prism of hate? I seem to have misplaced my copy that contains that.

To The People of Indianapolis-

So by now, if you live in Indianapolis, read media from the Indianapolis area, or perhaps enjoy your news in snark form,  you’ve heard about the Indianapolis “Super Bowl Shuffle” debacle of 2011.

It’s a mess. It was a mess of an idea, it was a failure in strategy and after people complained- the response by the ICVA was arguably faulty. When people complain, especially when they do so from a place of caring, the best response usually doesn’t include “Well you’re wrong too. So there.” (I’m paraphrasing of course.)

The video was pulled from YouTube. In a short time the citizen’s of Indianapolis will forget and we’ll all move on to have a wonderful Super Bowl and continue to have a wonderful Indianapolis.

But let’s put a different spin on this:

A group, representing Indianapolis, posted a video that a culture savvy, social media active, impassioned group of Indianapolis citizens didn’t like. It wasn’t a question of impropriety or crudeness- they didn’t like the message they felt it sent about a community that already battles an unfair rap of being sleepy and behind the times.

And this group spoke up- en masse.

I think that’s a really wonderful thing. The community has so much to be proud of- I am constantly surprised by the opportunities that can be found in Indianapolis. There is so much arts and culture- In a week’s time I will have seen a pre-release screening (Young Adults) and a Sundance Festival Film Award Winner (Being Elmo). I’m not special- we’re lucky to have amazing film festivals (Heartland. Indianapolis LGBT. Indianapolis International.) and that doesn’t even mention the museums, the art, the plays, the musicals. There are truly amazing local restaurants, wonderful shopping and great sporting events. There is real diversity here and it’s impossible to wander around in any number of places without seeing that.

We want ALL that reflected.

And I love that Indy’s un-official ambassadors of awesome were outraged that we would be represented as anything less, with something so patently uncool.

The collective message ran something like:

“Indy’s better than that. The rest of the country deserves to see just how wonderful we are. Suck it.”

But what I’m hoping is, that all those who took time to complain- don’t forget to take time to continue to invest in Indianapolis. Complaining is easy. Look at Rush Limbaugh. Bill O’Reilly. The Crier.

And you know, complaining is even easier when in reference to something so easily mock-able. Look at me and the Republican Presidential Race.

It’s easy to have a reaction, when something is just… bad. Like this uncomfortable spectacle of television.

Ick.

Anyways, it’s less easy to strive to make an actual impact. So, for all the complainers, myself included- volunteer. Give back. Go. Do. Invest. Spend money locally. Make your voice count ALL the time, for a city we can all agree, is pretty awesome.

 

New Life Goal- Westboro’s Hit List

I’ve decided I want to be picketed by Westboro Baptist Church. At the very least, I want something I’m involved in to be picketed. And here’s why.

The things, people, and events Westboro protest are awesome. And not just a little awesome, but epically, life changing-ly awesome. So, in order to be on the right side of history, I want to be on the same side as the below list of things protested by Westboro Baptist Church.

1. Betty Ford

She was a first lady who talked openly about abortions, premarital sex, women’s rights and depression. She made women’s issues not something whispered about behind closed doors. She took her power and started a dialogue. Watch this video and I promise you’ll have a new found respect for her.

2. Lady Gaga

They protest her concerts and shows. Apparently she’s responsible for rallying the damned homosexuals. They hate her. She loves gays. That seems like a good enough reason for me to love her.

3. Soldiers

You’d think this would be a universally agreeable thing. Because oddly, what their fighting for, what they protect, includes Westboro’s ability to protest. You’d think they’d be grateful. Or at the least, respectful. Apparently it doesn’t work that way for WBC.

4. Gays

I guess this topic is covered in conjunction with the fabulous comedienne category as well as Gaga. But, let’s be honest, who’s more fabulous than gays? Especially when, in counterprotest to WBC’s horrendous “God Hates Fags” signs, they make these gems.

I have to say though, of all the pictures I’ve seen, I believe the one below is the one that makes me smile the most. I wish I could grab the nearest guy and join these love birds in a screw-you-make-out-session. Sadly, as I am a female, that would do nothing to get Westboro’s pantys’ in a twist. I guess I’ll just have to applaud other’s efforts.

5. Twitter

I’m still unclear how this is unholy or devilish, but apparently they have been protesting Twitter headquarters. Oh well, I love Twitter and so does the rest of the world. Suck it.

6. Jews

Yep, they hate Jews.

I, on the other hand, happen to like Jews. A lot actually. I’ve worked for them, been born into a family with all sorts of fun jewish connections, and am fairly certain I could have been Jewish in a past life or something. (I actually had that suggested to me by a very old Jewish man who was sharing with me why he thought I was interested in Judaism. It was a very fun conversation. Perhaps later, I’ll take suggestions for what I could have possibly been in a previous life. I’m favoring some sort of ninja perhaps. Or a rebellious princess daughter- think Jasmine, from Alladin.)

As an added plus for the Jewish people, I find them FAR less judgmental than their Christian counterparts Hey Westboro. Next time you’re out protesting the Jews, maybe you should take notes.

7. Rocking Female Comedienne (Kathy Griffin. Lisa Lampanelli. Etc.)

These women are amazing in their own right as hilarious and ballsy comedienne. When you add to that the fact that they are happily telling Westboro where to suck it, they are my idols.

At a recent concert, that WBC was set to protest, Lisa donated money for each protestor in attendance to Gay Men’s Health Crisis for each WBC. You gotta love sticking it to them while also helping out a worthy cause.

8. Nerds?

Yep. For reasons far out of my scope of understanding WBC showed up at ComiCon with signs (See Below) saying God hated Nerds. I’m pretty sure I could be a Nerd category, I have my moments of VERY nerdy. Not to mention the fact that I cannot think of any conceivable reasoning for why God would hate ComiCon nerds. I mean really, how could they possibly have a problem with abstinate young men, living in their mom’s basement, playing Dungeon’s and Dragons for 18 hours a day?

How To Get Yourself Unfriended (Unfollowed, Blocked, etc.)

5 of the most irritating things you can do on Social Media

1. Every one of your posts is about your boyfriend/bff/soulmate/life partner

If I wanted to know about their every move, I’d follow them. Also, what this illustrates is that you have no life. That’s sad.

2. Your posts outline your daily beauty regime

I don’t care when you buy a new nailpolish, how long it took you to do your hair or an account of everytime you go shopping.

3. You make it impossible to stalk you

Let’s be honest, part of the draw of social media is the ability to stalk. So when you get engaged I want ring pictures, when you have a new job I want the name of the company so I can do a google search. Without the ability to scrutinize and judge, whats the point of endless hours on Facebook?

4. Your feed reads like a personal self help guide

Tomorrow is another day, God only gives us what we can handle, you’re having a hard time but you can make it through. Tell yourself, don’t tell me.

5. You know phone sex? Welcome to Social Media sex.

Some of the pictures, quotes, comments, might seem precious. We’ve all been so in love when even the most ridiculous things seem adorable. But when it crosses over into images of your tongue in someones mouth? I feel like I need a cigarette and a shower.

Kenneth Cole gets a Reaction

The fashion industry is entertainment. It’s an art form. It is not reality.

American fashion designer Kenneth Cole came under fire last week for a tweet that he himself posted to the social network. “Millions are in uproar in #Cairo,” the tweet read. “Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online at http://bit.ly/KCairo -KC.” And with those 140 characters the fashion icon found himself the target of media criticism around the world.

‘How dare he make light of the conflict in Egypt,” people echoed on blogs, newscasts, and blogospheres. This is a matter of democracy and independence, not to be made light of by extravagant fashion. One complaint I read went so far as to say he had broken the unspoken code of twitter by using the hashtag with Cairo for such a frivolous matter.

He then went on to issue a statement, “I apologize to everyone who was offended by my insensitive tweet about the situation in Egypt,” the piece read. “I’ve dedicated my life to raising awareness about serious social issues, and in hindsight my attempt at humor regarding a nation liberating themselves against oppression was poorly timed and absolutely inappropriate.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Fashion has never taken itself that seriously, why should he apologize? Fashion, on a global, runway, artistic level is about decadence. It’s about over the top exaggeration of the clothing we buy at our local mall.

When you think about the iconic style images of the last 10 or 15 years, many a designer has pushed the boundaries of normal, many of which with a bold sense of humor. Remember Bjork’s swan dress from the 2001 Oscar’s? No? Look it up, it’s worth the google search. What about Lady Gaga’s meat dress? Or even better, the meat bikini she wore on the cover of Japanese Vogue? (Let’s hope she never wears that on the beach. Can you imagine the smell?)

Further, fashion, in any form, is not the same as news. Anyone following Kenneth Cole on Twitter cannot possibly be expecting headlines or politics. He represents a brand, a clothing line, and a multi million dollar corporation but at the end of the day it is just clothing, just fashion. Do I believe he was minimizing the turmoil in Egypt? No, he was minimizing what he does for a living.

Fashion in no way can begin to compare to the call of people in Egypt for true democracy. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a voice or a place. It is a valid source of entertainment that trickles down to the clothing that we see on the racks every day.

This isn’t the first time Cole has found himself embroiled in controversy. Cole is known for pushing the boundaries. Ad campaigns have featured glittery shoes, purses and clothing, next to homeless people. And for me, I enjoy that he realizes what he is doing is no where on par with the realities of life. That’s what fashion is about. It’s the escape from ordinary, a magical creative exaggeration of the every day.

A New Conversation

“Once you can understand where the conversation is, who leads, the type of voices and the best place for you to add your voice, you can then start becoming a more active participant.”

– Mitch Joel, president of Twist Image

A couple days ago, I had someone very proudly explain to me that they didn’t have Facebook- they didn’t “believe in it.” Now, there are a lot of things I don’t believe in: the end of the world, ghosts, Sarah Palin‘s bizarre behavior… but I digress. What I am unclear of though is how someone doesn’t BELIEVE in a form of social media. It’s everywhere; from ad campaigns, to class projects, to the floors of Congress, where congressmen are able to tweet to their constituents, right from the house floor. Pretending it doesn’t exist or just altogether avoiding it seems altogether uninformed.

Facebook alone has more than 500 million active users. To put that into perspective, if Facebook were a country it would be the 3rd most populated. The average user is connected to 80 community pages, groups and events and they are developing up to 90 pieces of content in a given month. Most crucial to my argument though is that there are more than 30 billion pieces of contents (i.e. web links, news stories, blog posts, etc.) shared in just one month. But it’s not just Facebook that people attack. When people find out about my love of Twitter I get similar reactions. “Aren’t you basically just updating a status constantly?” “I don’t know why anyone would care what I’m doing or thinking.”

Social media is about more than just broadcasting your own life though and viewing it through that narrow of a lens is naive. Communication is currency for getting things done and right now the way the majority of people remain connected is through social media. Companies have campaigns conducted soley through social media. They hire people, or outsource to companies like CoTweet because they view social media as a catalyst for the branding of their company.

“More companies are discovering that an über-connected workplace is not just about implementing a new set of tools — it is also about embracing a cultural shift to create an open environment where employees are encouraged to share, innovate and collaborate virtually.”

– Karie Willyerd & Jeanne C. Meister, HarvardBusiness.org

It is also useful for personal interests. For me, the beauty of Twitter is that it allows me to stay up-to-date on public relations, political and current events. Thanks to the wonderful program TweetDeck, I even have the ability to categorize those into separate lists, and have updates sent directly to my phone of appear on my desktop with issues I care about. Further, it is in large part the way you, the reader, found my blog. My work experience, my writing samples, my resume? It is all on here so that, hopefully, I can direct a future employer here. I hope that by showcasing my abilities and expertise, someone will be impressed with what I can bring to the table. And that is the sort of rapid branding that can make social networking so useful for individuals.

Now that isn’t to say that posting one’s every move is advised. To quote the movie Easy A, “I don’t know what your generation’s fascination is with documenting your every thought…but I can assure you, they’re not all diamonds. “Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.” Who gives a rat’s ass?” There is absolutely some savy and most of all common sense necessary to successfully navigating social media. Those pictures from spring break? Probably not what you want for a first impression. Your plans, minute by minute, for the next hour? Quick way to get people to stop following you.

So think before you post and embrace all the opportunities of the social media world. It’s growing, changing and expanding whether you like it or not.