In Conclusion…

I had it pointed out that I never really gave a conclusion to the Best Buy saga of 2011 (and 48 hours of 2012), nor did I give any real plan of action after my 2012-freak-out or wrap up some loose ends of my many inevitable social media rants. So today I bring you:

In Conclusion- 5 Things I Forgot to Finish

1) The Best Buy Saga

Thanks to another cord (cord #4) my tv is now in working order. For those of you “techies” who are curious, it took an audio cord, the kind you normally use in a car to hook up your iPod to get audio. The y-cord didn’t work because my tv doesn’t have an audio work around, allowing it to play analog sound, while displaying HD video. Thus, why I needed cord number 4. So it now works

Thank god for Dynex customer service.

Best Buy however is still on my list. They didn’t respond to my Twitter rant or my blog. Alright, some companies aren’t very strong in social media response. But they also didn’t respond to my Customer Service hotline complaint, my formal complaint or my email.

As far as I’m concerned THAT is inexcusable.

2) 2012 Plan of Attack

You read my 2012 blog entry right? (If not you probably should.)

And in it I very calmly outline some “vague” concerns for a new year and end with a very cheerful spin.

Perhaps, in non-blog form I was not as calm about the coming year/my life. And perhaps my concerns took shape more like a freak out. And perhaps in a series of text messages to my friend, I spewed about needing a project, needing something to work on, blah-blah-blah.

So my friend, the king of “fix-it” suggested I needed to adopt his own 2012 resolution and create a vision board.

Yep. Think Oprah. UGH.

And in his words: “You can use it as a brainstorming activity- To figure out what the next “something” to attack is. And then we’ll develop an action plan to achieve it.”

Of note: I disapprove of anyone using phrases like: ‘develop an action plan’ or ‘brainstorming activity’. But somehow, in a moment of weakness, I signed on to this activity. And now I’m making a Hobby Lobby stop tonight to begin putting together something that constitutes a vision board.

3) Iowa Caucus

I tweeted last night as I watched the results roll in and I’ve been listening to CNN updates today. Bachmann out, Perry soon to be, blah-blah-blah.

Can I remind everyone that Iowa, while exciting and an incredibly fun way to kick off the “election season” actually means very, VERY little? (Think 2008 election- Huckabee? Riiiiggght.) And that, unless you are Iowans who freaking love caucus time, everyone sort of knows the process is ludicrous?

Even CNN reporters were phoning that shit in last night. “Elections come down to geography,” explained one CNN commentator. “And votes.” Why yes sir, that is an election. This election, and every election, in just about any democracy. (Except Chicago. And Texas. They have entirely different government systems there.)

Then this morning, while watching The Today Show, they were talking to someone about how close the vote was. And the reporter pointed out that there was no way of doing a recall. First, there were no provisions for that in the Iowa Caucus format/rules. Second, in her words, “People wrote their votes on all sorts of things- scraps of paper, even the back of receipts.”

Say what???

And this is why, in conclusion, the Iowa Caucus is sort of useless.

4) The Bachelor

I was asked why I didn’t live tweet The Bachelor premiere these last couple days. Normally I enjoy taking advantage of any pop culture spectacle that is just so easy to mock. These girls are idiots- crying hysterically over a man they just met. There is a bizarre lack of diversity, not to mention differences in body size, types, etc. It’s just- exhausting.

And really who would ever have thought I would have standards? But as it turns out ABC is testing me.

My mom called last night to find out if I was watching Wife Swap Celebrity edition. It was that one pastor who got caught with a male hooker, doing blow and Gary Busey. They swapped partners, then filmed a tv show. And it was AWFUL. Or so I hear. I lasted about 30 seconds (insert joke here re: 30 seconds being how long Ted would have lasted with his male prostitute boyfriend.) before realizing this was the worst show known to man and moving on out of sheer repugnance.

So for the 3 of you who usually enjoy my pop culture ramblings- I just couldn’t stomach it this year. I’m sorry.

5) Awkward Social Media Conversations

It’s my own fault.

I’m overly mouthy. I enjoy making public social media statements. I’m a tad judgmental. And really enjoy sharing things I think are funny.

But in the last month I’ve had more people get confrontational over it than I ever have before.

My responses have varied:

• Sometimes, I’ve felt badly and edited my statement. I realized I was a bit harsh and adjusted accordingly.
• Sometimes I’ve responded in an equally mouthy way- I’ve felt my point was valid and got all indignant and uppity. (Irritating right? I’m sorry for that too.)
• And sometimes I just haven’t responded to at all because I thought the comment was too awkward for words.

But let it be said- I’m sorry. If I have in any way offended you (and you know me at all) you know it wasn’t intentional. I dislike the symptoms I bitch about, not the people.

My snark is meant to be well intentioned. And funny. And sometimes thoughtful.

Which also sort of sums up me.

TV I’m Excited For (Shame Based and Otherwise)

Lunchtime List….

5 Televisions Shows I’m Very Excited For 

(Even if I’m not necessarily proud of my excitement)

1. Dance Moms

Why yes, looks like an absolute trainwreck of a show and I must confess: I. Am. Giddy. Beginning July 13th, this “documentary” of sorts follows in the pattern of Cheer Nation and others: Insane Parents. Sadistic Teacher. Little Kid Tears. As a dancer, a dancer who grew up at a dancing school, with tamer but, at times, equally crazy parents, I cannot wait.

I have read reviews of the studio. It is, no doubt, a demanding studio that demonstrates a high level of technique and precision. But it is also a breeding ground for star crazed mom’s with delusions of grandeur (think Dina Lohan) and dancers getting burnt out by the age of 12. (Note the lack of teenage or older dancers in the previews.) Despite the possible years of therapy these little ones will have to endure, not to mention their inevitable future putting these dancing skills to use on a pole, I’ll be shamefully tuned in to every insane moment.

*Can we also take a second to enjoy the morbidly obese teacher? Does a teacher have to be the best dancer to teach? No, often the best dancers make awful instructors. But perhaps I would like my children’s teacher to look like she could see her toes, none the less pointe them.

2. Project Runway

Yet another Lifetime Network gem, the return of this show for it’s ninth season on July 29th promises a predictable mix of flamboyant and crazy. They choose telegenic, easy to categorize personalities (the annoying one, the talented one, the flamboyantly gay one, the hot straight guy you want to make you a dress before having his way with you) who compete in predictably ludicrous challenges (who has to make an outfit out of car parts?) and are held together by a 2-parts-bitchy-1-part-fatherly judging/advice panel. No one tunes in because they don’t know what’s going to happen, we tune in because we do.

3. Entourage

It’s the final season for this HBO boys club and I’ve never been so excited to have HBO. (July 24th)

4. Good Christian Belles

Haven’t heard of it? Well here it is.

I’m excited for this show for one reason.

Kristin Chenoweth is one of the most underrated, painfully talented actresses in Hollywood. (Yeah I said it.) She’s one of those actresses that you might recognize (She’s been in everything from Glee to the West Wing) but would be hard pressed to name. She sings (original Glinda in Wicked anyone?) she dances (a SYTYCD judge this season) and has a comedic timing and sharp wit that’s made even more cutting with her sugary sweet voice. (Can you tell I’m a fan?) With any luck, this midseason replacement from ABC will turn her into a household name and showcase her variety of talents. Sadly, ABC midseason replacements don’t have a lot of luck getting off the ground- a la Mr. Sunshine. Let’s hope this show has a slightly less dismal fate.

5. More As The Story Develops

Ok, so it isn’t slated to hit the HBO airwaves until 2012 but this Aaron Sorkin project about a cable news station has to be one of the most buzzed about tv projects that is still in casting. Equal parts West Wing, Sports Night, and Studio 60 (at it’s best perhaps) it is said to profile an Olbermann like idealist, liberal reporter and his staff. With each new casting addition (Dev Patel, Kathleen Kennedy) I get more excited for its eventual premiere. (Note to self: either need to move again or not be so cheap by the time this comes out. HBO will be a must have for this Sorkin junkie.)

Gonna Put on a Show

“Get your popcorn ready, ‘cause I’m gonna put on a show.” –Terrell Owens

 

When looking at sports today, it is impossible to think of the institution without also thinking about the way technology and media are shaping it. As media grows so do the specialization of interests, and sports, with it’s broad appeal and captive audience, provides easy subject matter. Television enables the image of sports, the persona of athletes, and the obsession with winning. It fuels the last remaining common interest of the American people. Because of this, television and sports have forged a relationship inexplicably linked to one another’s image and success.

In the past 10 years the Super Bowl has consistently held at or above 65% of the market share of viewers. In Layman’s terms that means that 65% of people able to watch television were sitting around watching the Super Bowl. Families and friends get together to cheer on teams, there are rushes on beer and chips at grocery stores and the next morning everyone is talking about the commercials and half time performances just as much as the outcome of the game. Once upon a time, television was a gathering place. Everyone could talk about what happened on TV last night because you only had three stations. Now, in a world of 600 stations, that type of commonality is rare except with sports.

The relationship forged between athletes and television is important too. TV provides a medium for athletes to become more than just players- they become personalities. Look at Terrell Owens and his infamous driveway press conference. Or LeBron James and “The Decision.” Or the bevy of athletes turned reality stars including Reggie Bush and Ochocinco. These athletes become household names thanks to our ability to tune into their daily lives.

This sort of accessibility isn’t just true with athletes. Think about Oklahoma State Football Coach Mike Gundy who rose to national fame when his “I’m a man… I’m 40.” meltdown was captured- where else? On television.

Which leads to the downfall of athletes on television. While we may enjoy rooting on our favorite players, we revel in tearing them to pieces when they fail to live up to our expectations. Look at Tiger Woods. He used the media to create a persona, an image we bought into. He was Tiger Woods the family man, Tiger Woods the mentor, Tiger Woods the example. Then, one evening, these facades came down with a crash- pardon the pun. Suddenly he was the butt of every late night TV joke, the hot topic on every entertainment news broadcast. He cultivated a fan base outside of golf thanks to television and television is what succeeded in highlighting every gruesome detail of his indiscretions.

And that is really the crux of the relationship. Television builds athletes into super human superpowers, branding their image as both accessible and unattainable, and creating a sense of camaraderie rare in today’s independent world. As long as these athletes, these sports teams, are willing to put on a show, we are more than willing to watch.