If Only Televised Political Spectacles Were More Like Miss America.

In just 24 hours the American people, who could tear themselves away from The Bachelor (I know it was hard, there’s constant intellectual wonderings- Do these women have some sort of attachment disorder that causes them to “love” so quickly? Why are men always attracted to the crazy one? Why is Ben’s hair so sad?) will have been able to witness not one but TWO major political events.

Ok. One semi-major event (The State of the Union) and one mind-numbingly repetitive one (Another GOP Debate).

Either way- as I was watching the GOP debate last night, and as I contemplate the inevitable that will occur during tonight’s The State of The Union, I began to think:

What if we gave some pageantry pizazz to these lackluster and sometimes painful political events? 

• Begin with a snazzy dance number- At the debates, they do these ridiculous openings, complete with flashing lights and “contestant” introductions. Great- they are on the beauty queen track. But let’s pump this up a bit. Nothing would compare to three WASP-y white men and one tiny Texan, dancing to Shake That. Plus, perhaps working with their choreographer Juan will open their horizons, make them a little more accepting of an alternative life style. I mean it seems to be working for Michelle Bachmann’s husband…

• Cut Away Shots- Think about how much more “real” the event would be if when a candidate talks about his “middle class” background, we could see pics of them. It would help us make connections! And while Mitt goes on and on about the working middle class, we would see him on his first yacht or throwing around his first hundred- because really, what young person who doesn’t go through those time honored traditions?

• Disney!- Since once again, Miss America has found its home on ABC, this year we saw the contestants frolicking about in the magical world of Disney. I remember when I was younger thinking how badly I wanted to be a contestant, just for a free trip to Disney World, hanging out with all those gorgeous gals. Cut to tonight- when members of one side of Congress will act like they have perpetual springs in their ass, while the other side, will have looks on their faces like they have been sucking down lemons. (See Below. Could John Boehner look anymore pissed to be clapping?)

What if, at the end of the evening tonight, we got to see shots of congressmen riding Splash Mountain, Senators spinning on the Tea Cups, and President Obama and John Boehner running, hand in hand with Mickey Mouse, castle in the background, showing the pure joy that only Walt Disney’s magic can bring? Wouldn’t we all have a little more hope for America?

• Give Um’ The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle- The Miss America contestants are talented. Just ask the future doctors, lawyers, teacher and professionals who have all been a part of the program. But oh- do these girls like their rhinestones. The Miss America contestants will put rhinestones on anything- even their posteriors, which really can’t be comfortable. I can only imagine that’s what has happened in the below picture- she slipped, fell and is not butt-jumping from the pain of a rhinestoned-ass. (Full disclosure: she was a jump-roper. I’ve heard her talent is actually pretty awesome. And I would decorate EVERYTHING with rhinestones. And pretty much have.) BUT I DIGRESS.

If only, just once, the people at the State of the Union could show up in full ball gowns, the men in bedazzled suits. We would rate them, not just for  the intelligent people they are, but their poise, physical fitness and use of bling to highlight their “ass”-ets. State of the Union- win.

• Last but not least- A Crowning Moment to Remember  In the State of the Union there are rarely winners. Commentators of the left praise new visions set forth by President Obama and commentators on the right swear he’s putting an end to “Our here free-doms with his socialist, communist, math-doin ways.” Everyone sort of loses in this scenario except those at home, playing State of the Union Drinking games. They are winners. BUT, in the debates, there are undeniably winners-  specifically those who manage to come out seeming even slightly saner than the people next to them. Thus, we need a crowning damn it, as well as family members rushing the stage. This mean- next debate that ol’ Newt wins, we march wife 1, 2 AND 3 out on stage. Talk about fireworks- we won’t need pyrotechnics when we have the tension of all three of those women, huddled around for Newt’s big moment.

Take a cue from last year’s Outstanding Actress crew- everyone loves a good crowning. And some humor. And some not-being-awful. Let’s work on this shall we? 

Obsessions (Part 2)

If you’ll remember, waaaay back in July, I did a list of 5 things I was loving: A southside Indianapolis bakery, an inexpensive line of cosmetics, a British clothing line, a moody cover and a time-killing app for the iPhone lovers.

Now, with slightly more than the 4 readers I had back then, and an ever expanding exploration I thought I would give this another shot. **

1) Which Disney Character will you be today? Disney Bound.

The amazingly talented Megan McKenna sent me the link to a Tumblr entitled Disney Bound and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Leslie Kay, a fashion blogger, decided to combine her love of all things Disney with fun fashion and Disney Bound is the addictive product. Using Polyvore, she creates outfits based on Disney characters that capture their aesthetic and sense of fun. 

I could go on for DAYS with my incredible love for what she does but instead I will move on- and let you check it out for yourself.

(p.s. If you fall in love with the site as much as I have, feel free to vote for her blog at http://bbmchallenge.blackberry.com/desktop/en/us/council/whitney-port/challenges.html)

1.5) And while you’re at it… Phillip Light

Check out the GORGEOUS artwork on the Disney Bound site.

The artist- Phillip Light does all of the illustrations on the site and I am absolutely in love. How much would I KILL to have him make one of these adorable pictures of me? I’m pretty sure my little Disney heart would just melt.

2) Shopping Local becomes Eating Local- Yogulatte

11/26 was Small Business Saturday and doing my duty as an Indianapolis lover (i.e. lover of boutiques and buying things) I went strolling along Mass. Ave. where I made a few purchases including a very fabulous pair of sunglasses from Eye Candy Boutique and a lotus jewelry holder from Silver in the City.

But then I was hungry and what would make this sort of day better than frozen yogurt? Especially when I found out they have seasonal holiday flavors. So really, the question is what could be better than festive holiday frozen yogurt? Nothing.

My apple pie/vanilla bean combo topped with carmel made the fat-kid in me oh-so-happy.

3) Up All Night

I think part of the reason I have such a soft spot for this show is because the relationship between Ava and Reagan is much like my best friend Matt and I. It is also the marriage I aspire to have.

Anyway- I watch it Wednesday at 8:00 on NBC. Check local listings. Or whatever.

4) Reading.

Yes, reading is something I love, especially with my handy dandy iPad making it infinitely easier to always have something new. And here is what I think you should be reading:

• Bossypants by Tina Fey- “Only in comedy,” she writes, about interviewing for a writing job on “Saturday Night Live” in 1997, “does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.”
• Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom- “I am in love with hope,” Albom writes. While it may have been made into a painfully ridiculous “Hallmark Tv Movie” the book is a powerful one. As the holiday season approaches, read it. I promise you won’t regret it.
• Mighty Be Our Power: How Sisterhood, Prayer and Sex Changed a Nation at War- “I always tell people, anger is like liquid. It’s fluid, it’s like water. You put it in a container and it takes the shape of that container. So many people you see in prison, unleashing war on their people, they are angry and they take their anger and put it into a violent container. We took our anger and put it into a peaceful container, and then we just got the power, I think, from God, because that anger in that peaceful container propelled us,” -Peace Activist Leymah Gbowee

5) It’s going to be a wonderful Christmas with Michael Buble’s sexy self singing to me.

I know this is an incredibly cliche white girl Christmas thing. But I can’t help it. Because when he sings to me… well on a cd. Or on a tv. Whatever… I always love him. So until Christmas I will be listening to Christmas- The Special Edition incessantly. And dreaming of his future appearance at my front door, where he croons at me, with the Puppini Sisters bouncing away behind him.

The end.

Have a lovely Holiday.  :)

** I really need another name for this series though. Obsessions- (Part 2) reminds me of Confessions (Part 2). You know, Usher? Baby mama drama? Excessive shirtlessness?

Are You The Regina George of the Blogosphere?

Ever since I began working with blogs- researching them, reaching out to them, reading them on a fairly consistent basis, I’ve become intrigued. Some blogs are wonderful- The Bloggess, of “What a fucking bitch” p.r. fame, keeps me laughing on a regular basis. Mindy Kaling’s blog The Concerns of Mindy Kaling, is a new find and I find her wit, and shopping suggestions,readable and hilarious. Even after complaining about the vapid nature of some fashion/cooking/diy bloggers, there are a few I frequent including The Glitter Guide, Cheetah is the New Black, Sarah’s Laundry and See Anna Jane. To round out my blogging, I read a couple Indianapolis blogs- Doing Indy and the Indy Spectator.

And I must say, I am in awe of some of the bloggers I follow. I am fascinated by their leveraging of what they love to do, what they love to talk about, into opportunities. Let’s be honest, I would absolutely love to have someone paying me to talk about whatever is on my mind, be given exclusive access to special events or be given fabulous clothes to play fashion model with. (Hold on- The idea of a constantly replenished wardrobe that wasn’t causing my bank account to cry has caused me to daze off a little.)

And I’m back.

But there is a flip side to this trend. It is, what I would like to call, the Regina George’s of the blogosphere. (Remember the ringleader of the Mean Girl’s Queen Bees?) These, I’m sure, perfectly well-intentioned bloggers begin over sharing every detail of their lives via blog post. Entries begin to sound something like this:

A) This morning I_________.
B) For breakfast I ate ____________.
C) To occupy my morning I:
got dressed/worked out/went shopping/ made a giant paper mache eiffel tower out of: cookies I baked/puppies I rescued/paper from trees I personally developed and planted.

And my question becomes- WHO CARES?? What sort of personal affirmation are you so in need of that you are sharing with the world your every move? Or every outfit you put together each morning? Or, my personal favorite, everything you eat so that they can be just as ridiculously fit as you? It’s the internet equivalent of Regina’s desire to lose 3 lbs!

I understand that blogging can be personal. As much as I enjoy when my blog stats soar, I’m always equally surprised to learn people actually read my little rants.To me, it’s a form of self expression- audience be damned. On the other hand, these “day in the life” bloggers, always strike me as a symptom of the way we, the Millenial generation has been raised. It echoes our continual quest for stardom by acting as if we are so important, our every move needs documented.

It’s easy to forget this mess isn’t solely our fault. We’ve grown up with reality stars, in an era where notoriety has a strikingly similar path to fame as talent- Kim Kardashian anyone?

And we over share our life because we expect the world to care just as much as our parents did. We’re a generation that grew up hearing we could be anything we wanted. Princess? Sure. Firefighter? Why not. President of the US?? Well of course you can sweetheart! We are a generation whose parents were so concerned about not breaking this: “You are the Best” charade, that we got a medal, not for excellence, but for showing up. That’s who we’ve been raised to be.

So I blame that combination for what is happening in the blogosphere. It is what causes members of our generation to believe that if someone else garnered a book deal or received an invite to New York Fashion Week because of their blog then Gosh-Darn-It they can too. These not-so-good bloggers ignore the fact that, some bloggers are just great writers. They are original, they are driven, and what they say MEANS something. It is their talent, their unique point of view, and their general ability to not take themselves too seriously- THAT is how they become popular.

Because in blogging, with an Internet full of options, it is originality and talent that are cause for attention and staying power. Endless recounts of your every move? Well, you’ve successfully become the Regina of the Internets.

The Plight of Women

50, 60 years ago, society had a pretty firm definition for a woman’s role in society. Women’s job was to be pretty and helpful. Sure, they might go to school, they might even work. But these jobs weren’t about their personal success- No! They were means to an end- to finding a husband, to helping the family. Selflessness was a highly prized virtue for women, as was caring. Women were to care for the children, care for the house. They were to be “good wives.” Don’t believe me? There were “How-To” guides for being the ideal that included “Be happy to see him” and “A good wife knows her place.”

Let’s not kid ourselves- this life of selflessness and caring by no means assured happiness for the woman of the 50′s and 60′s, nor did it keep said husband happy or from cheating with his secretary, (Donald Draper, anyone?) But in those days the message was clear: sit down and shut up- this is where you women belong.

In todays’ world women have options.Women have more capabilities, more choices available available to them than they did 60 years ago. Yet it seems to me that women have not yet accepted, not yet embraced that power. Instead there seems to be a clear longing for yester-year, a prevalent cultural message (perpetuated by the choices we women make) that “Happiness is marriage and a family and the caring of both.”

The need for marriage begins for women before they even walk down the aisle. They collect bridal magazines, watch shows on the perfect day and dream of an eventbthat cant possibly live up to their expectations. For girls longing to walk down the aisle, popular wedding forum Brides.com, provides an entire support group for those ywomen who’s men have not yet popped the question. Over 7,000 messages on 642 threads bemoan the frustration women find as they wait for the man to ask them to get married. Women talk about 8 year relationships with out a proposal, counting down, setting deadlines. They ask other unengaged, unhappy women, why on earth the man of their dreams hasn’t proposed. They talk plans of the perfect dress and the perfect ring, when they obviously haven’t found the perfect relationship.

I see the same type pattern in the world of Mommy Bloggers/Fashion Blogger. Women post endlessly on what they wore today, or what their favorite new recipes is and how they made their house feel like a “home” with a craft project. One article sites as many as 42 million female internet users with as much as 43% seeking advice and community in bloggers.

Even more stunning is that industries have taken notice of this phenomenon. PR professionals, (myself included) pitch to them, wanting both their endorsement and the attention of the audience at their disposal. They are featured on TJ Maxx Commercials, invited to insider fashion week events and given products to review and discuss. The business industry is paying attention to the buying power and trends of these women who are taking pride, and finding success, in their decidedly female roles.

While the “Why-Won’t-He-Propose” bitch fest, signifies, to me, a total relinquishing of power, the female blogger phenomenon is a little trickier. On one hand, the power of women, to brand, to market themselves, to find a sense of community where we can learn from each other, says a lot about our awareness and abilities. On the other hand, why is it that where we are seeing a boom in women’s voices, is in the same cliched areas that we are quick to mock in the “How-To” guide. Are women sharing recipes and talking shopping for themselves? Or are they coming up with meals so as to “have dinner ready on time for his return” and to “look fresh on his arrival”?

I can’t help but question how we, as women, are using our voice. If we have the skills, the numbers, and the time (look at the number of Mommy Bloggers alone) why aren’t we using that voice and that audience for more important things than how to turn our old bra into an evening bag? (Could I make this up? No.) Love fashion, love your kids, share tips and trends. But don’t forget, that as easily as we can talk about those roles, we can also be talking about our role in society.

In 1950, women weren’t supposed to have a voice. It’s 2011 and we are fully aware that woman can do more. Knowledge, influence, is power we don’t seem to be sure what to do with it.

Obsessions (Not the Elizabeth Taylor perfume)

5 things I can’t get enough of right now

(For my male readers, skip to #3. The first part of this post is pretty girly. Heck, it’s all a little girly. I apologize.)

1. Eyes Lips Face Cosmetics

This line of cosmetics, found online and at select Target locations, is the most inexpensive, awesome line of makeup you’ll ever find. Most everything on the site is $1, with the studio collection running around $3. While I don’t use it for everything I stock up on fake eye lashes and seasonal fun colors of eye shadow and lip gloss that can easily be tossed in the trash when I’m over the notion. I’m also a big fan of their Essential Pressed Powder and Studio Bronzer. Both hold up well and look great on my skin.

2. Dorothy Perkins

There are pros and cons to this UK shopping site including the necessity to convert both sizes and currency to our U.S. versions but if you can get past that, I promise you that for whatever the occasion, whatever the season, and whatever your style preferences are, you will find something you LOVE on this site. Plus, it will be much more rare that you run into your dress twin sporting one of these British Invasion frocks.

3. I Can’t Make You Love Me/Nick Of Time

I feel like, for the past several months all anyone has been able to talk about is Bon Iver. That’s great and I’m sure you’re a super hip person for enjoying this not-so-mainstream gem. I just couldn’t quite jump on the bandwagon. Sure Kanye’s Monster and Lost In The World, featuring Bon Iver are great. But let’s be honest, no matter how insane he is, I’ve always been partial to Kanye. (I digress.)

From the moment I heard this song, I’ve had it on repeat. Over and over and over. Enjoy.

4. Kim’s Kake Kreations

While I’m not a big fan of their alliteration (which is really just misspelling in my world) or their website, their food is to die for. This little Indianapolis bakery, located on Madison Ave. as you’re driving south toward Greenwood, might be easily missed if it wasn’t for the big cupcake cutout outside. I stopped in on a whim one day on my way home from work and was amazed by their selection, not-so-expensive pricing and amazing baked goods. Their Gooey Bars and the Inside Out Reese Cup Cupcake are must tries.

5. Prose with Bros

You know how you use to play with those magnetic words, found on desks and in those random nick-nack stores, trying to make the dirtiest phrases possible? Welcome to the 21st century version of this game. You can play with friends, vote on other people’s funny phrases and have your “poem” read aloud, complete with funny sound effects. Still have’t made you whip out your iPhone or Android powered smartphone to download? Read a few samples my friend and I created. Priceless. (If you want to play me, feel free to challenge me- my user name is taylorlouise)

TV I’m Excited For (Shame Based and Otherwise)

Lunchtime List….

5 Televisions Shows I’m Very Excited For 

(Even if I’m not necessarily proud of my excitement)

1. Dance Moms

Why yes, looks like an absolute trainwreck of a show and I must confess: I. Am. Giddy. Beginning July 13th, this “documentary” of sorts follows in the pattern of Cheer Nation and others: Insane Parents. Sadistic Teacher. Little Kid Tears. As a dancer, a dancer who grew up at a dancing school, with tamer but, at times, equally crazy parents, I cannot wait.

I have read reviews of the studio. It is, no doubt, a demanding studio that demonstrates a high level of technique and precision. But it is also a breeding ground for star crazed mom’s with delusions of grandeur (think Dina Lohan) and dancers getting burnt out by the age of 12. (Note the lack of teenage or older dancers in the previews.) Despite the possible years of therapy these little ones will have to endure, not to mention their inevitable future putting these dancing skills to use on a pole, I’ll be shamefully tuned in to every insane moment.

*Can we also take a second to enjoy the morbidly obese teacher? Does a teacher have to be the best dancer to teach? No, often the best dancers make awful instructors. But perhaps I would like my children’s teacher to look like she could see her toes, none the less pointe them.

2. Project Runway

Yet another Lifetime Network gem, the return of this show for it’s ninth season on July 29th promises a predictable mix of flamboyant and crazy. They choose telegenic, easy to categorize personalities (the annoying one, the talented one, the flamboyantly gay one, the hot straight guy you want to make you a dress before having his way with you) who compete in predictably ludicrous challenges (who has to make an outfit out of car parts?) and are held together by a 2-parts-bitchy-1-part-fatherly judging/advice panel. No one tunes in because they don’t know what’s going to happen, we tune in because we do.

3. Entourage

It’s the final season for this HBO boys club and I’ve never been so excited to have HBO. (July 24th)

4. Good Christian Belles

Haven’t heard of it? Well here it is.

I’m excited for this show for one reason.

Kristin Chenoweth is one of the most underrated, painfully talented actresses in Hollywood. (Yeah I said it.) She’s one of those actresses that you might recognize (She’s been in everything from Glee to the West Wing) but would be hard pressed to name. She sings (original Glinda in Wicked anyone?) she dances (a SYTYCD judge this season) and has a comedic timing and sharp wit that’s made even more cutting with her sugary sweet voice. (Can you tell I’m a fan?) With any luck, this midseason replacement from ABC will turn her into a household name and showcase her variety of talents. Sadly, ABC midseason replacements don’t have a lot of luck getting off the ground- a la Mr. Sunshine. Let’s hope this show has a slightly less dismal fate.

5. More As The Story Develops

Ok, so it isn’t slated to hit the HBO airwaves until 2012 but this Aaron Sorkin project about a cable news station has to be one of the most buzzed about tv projects that is still in casting. Equal parts West Wing, Sports Night, and Studio 60 (at it’s best perhaps) it is said to profile an Olbermann like idealist, liberal reporter and his staff. With each new casting addition (Dev Patel, Kathleen Kennedy) I get more excited for its eventual premiere. (Note to self: either need to move again or not be so cheap by the time this comes out. HBO will be a must have for this Sorkin junkie.)

Kenneth Cole gets a Reaction

The fashion industry is entertainment. It’s an art form. It is not reality.

American fashion designer Kenneth Cole came under fire last week for a tweet that he himself posted to the social network. “Millions are in uproar in #Cairo,” the tweet read. “Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online at http://bit.ly/KCairo -KC.” And with those 140 characters the fashion icon found himself the target of media criticism around the world.

‘How dare he make light of the conflict in Egypt,” people echoed on blogs, newscasts, and blogospheres. This is a matter of democracy and independence, not to be made light of by extravagant fashion. One complaint I read went so far as to say he had broken the unspoken code of twitter by using the hashtag with Cairo for such a frivolous matter.

He then went on to issue a statement, “I apologize to everyone who was offended by my insensitive tweet about the situation in Egypt,” the piece read. “I’ve dedicated my life to raising awareness about serious social issues, and in hindsight my attempt at humor regarding a nation liberating themselves against oppression was poorly timed and absolutely inappropriate.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Fashion has never taken itself that seriously, why should he apologize? Fashion, on a global, runway, artistic level is about decadence. It’s about over the top exaggeration of the clothing we buy at our local mall.

When you think about the iconic style images of the last 10 or 15 years, many a designer has pushed the boundaries of normal, many of which with a bold sense of humor. Remember Bjork’s swan dress from the 2001 Oscar’s? No? Look it up, it’s worth the google search. What about Lady Gaga’s meat dress? Or even better, the meat bikini she wore on the cover of Japanese Vogue? (Let’s hope she never wears that on the beach. Can you imagine the smell?)

Further, fashion, in any form, is not the same as news. Anyone following Kenneth Cole on Twitter cannot possibly be expecting headlines or politics. He represents a brand, a clothing line, and a multi million dollar corporation but at the end of the day it is just clothing, just fashion. Do I believe he was minimizing the turmoil in Egypt? No, he was minimizing what he does for a living.

Fashion in no way can begin to compare to the call of people in Egypt for true democracy. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a voice or a place. It is a valid source of entertainment that trickles down to the clothing that we see on the racks every day.

This isn’t the first time Cole has found himself embroiled in controversy. Cole is known for pushing the boundaries. Ad campaigns have featured glittery shoes, purses and clothing, next to homeless people. And for me, I enjoy that he realizes what he is doing is no where on par with the realities of life. That’s what fashion is about. It’s the escape from ordinary, a magical creative exaggeration of the every day.