Paperman.

Love.

It’s January 2.

It’s January 2, which means I am obligated to do a looking back, looking ahead, new year’s resolution post.

And, because it’s me, it’s also obligated to be a day and a half late and slightly dysfunctional because I just can’t manage to do things like normal people.

2012.

My goal for 2012 was to say yes more. Super easy right? I remember confessing it, via Twitter, to a then acquaintance who’s New Years Resolution was far loftier than mine and feeling slightly sheepish or like it was some how a come on.

“Hey there sweetcheeks- Tell me what you want, I promise to say yes…”

Oddly, or somewhat serendipitously, the then acquaintance has become one of the people who means the most to me from 2012- an absolute reflection of my “Saying Yes” mentality.

And in practice, I did a lot of things in 2012 I don’t usually do- I stepped outside of my box, over and over, in big ways and small. I spoke my mind, when I would usually be quiet, in moments of conviction, in moments of opportunity and, perhaps my biggest weakness, in moments of emotion. I worked on me- worked on being the person I aspire to be, and not settling as often. I took chances and put myself out there with the constant reminder to myself that I would regret “What if’s,” the question marks and ellipses in life’s sentences, far more than I would a period. I made a concerted effort to make excuses less and just do- even when I didn’t really want to. As a result I had more moments than I can count where I thought- God I wouldn’t change this life, this moment, this choice, for anything.

And not to get too rosy- 2012 included kissing a few frogs (metaphorically, thank god) and have a few tearful, stressful, frustrating nights. days. weeks. where I swore no more- that I had made the wrong choice, that I had put myself out there too much, that I had backed myself into a corner I was just tired of being in.

But overall, 2012 sure felt like a success.

2013.

So to address this year, I first had to ask myself what can I do better?

I was sad by the number of things from 2012 I was missing, when I looked back on the year. It’s easy to remember the biggest things- The annual pilgrimage to Chicago for Taste or my LA trip, Birthday Present to myself. But it’s the smaller, slightly less earth shifting things that seemed to get lost- I went cliff-diving and had Drake sing to me (Don’t start. I bought the concert ticket- HE COULD HAVE BEEN SINGING TO ME.), and worked my first poll (once again, don’t start). I snuck in listened to Michael J. Fox speak and tried new foods and surprised my mom by taping her father’s story as part of Story Corps’ stop in Indianapolis for Christ’s sake and yet I had forgotten about ALL of these big 2012 things until I was tiding up my cyber life last night.

So how can I better celebrate the little things? Capture the milestones and moments? How can I better enjoy 2013?

And this line of thought led to the inevitable- How can I expand on the progress? If 2012 was an adjustment- to taking the baby steps I don’t usually take, then 2013 should be about getting the hell out of the building.

(What About Bob? No? Ok. Just watch.)

For example- In 2012, I bought furniture I previously would have just pinned on Pinterest and thought “I don’t need/ I can’t find/ I shouldn’t be spending my money.” I even took it a step further by dipping my toe into the DIY pool I’ve always admired from afar- I repainted furniture I previously would have either turned my nose up at or suffered through, which lead to my most DIY-ing friend commenting how great my furniture looked this weekend. I was THRILLED.

My antique mall find, that after sanding and spray painting turned into an absolutely perfect (and oh-so-cheap) coffee table.

Yet, when I reflect, I’m surprised by the big leaps, I consistently don’t even consider. What about the larger undertakings? The impulsive stuff? The number of times I say “someday”?

The perfect example comes in the form of The Mouse (Doesn’t everything?).

I have talked about going to Disney for months now. Maybe even years. I talk about it so much that, when assigned a new property in the Florida area at work, my bosses’ first comment was, “It’s Florida. It is not however a trip to Disney. Just so you know.” And at some point, in the last few weeks, I wondered… Why aren’t I just making this happen? I’m not rolling in expendable cash but with some planning, and some saving, I can very easily spend a couple days getting my Disney fix. I don’t need permission, I don’t need to wait for someone to make this happen. I just need to do. (Let’s not spend too much time dissecting why this was a huge revelation, shall we?)

And, being a sucker for themes and quotes and inspirations, I’ve spent the last couple days thinking of 2013 taglines. But inevitably, anything I came up with sounds like it fell right out of a Shit-Girls-Say-Self-Help-Novel. (Is this a thing? Because it absolutely should be.)

Why Not Now? Take Big Steps. Make It Memorable.

I got diabetes just typing those. None-the-less, that is where we are.

Happy 2013 ya’ll. Let’s see what’s in store.

If Only Televised Political Spectacles Were More Like Miss America.

In just 24 hours the American people, who could tear themselves away from The Bachelor (I know it was hard, there’s constant intellectual wonderings- Do these women have some sort of attachment disorder that causes them to “love” so quickly? Why are men always attracted to the crazy one? Why is Ben’s hair so sad?) will have been able to witness not one but TWO major political events.

Ok. One semi-major event (The State of the Union) and one mind-numbingly repetitive one (Another GOP Debate).

Either way- as I was watching the GOP debate last night, and as I contemplate the inevitable that will occur during tonight’s The State of The Union, I began to think:

What if we gave some pageantry pizazz to these lackluster and sometimes painful political events? 

• Begin with a snazzy dance number- At the debates, they do these ridiculous openings, complete with flashing lights and “contestant” introductions. Great- they are on the beauty queen track. But let’s pump this up a bit. Nothing would compare to three WASP-y white men and one tiny Texan, dancing to Shake That. Plus, perhaps working with their choreographer Juan will open their horizons, make them a little more accepting of an alternative life style. I mean it seems to be working for Michelle Bachmann’s husband…

• Cut Away Shots- Think about how much more “real” the event would be if when a candidate talks about his “middle class” background, we could see pics of them. It would help us make connections! And while Mitt goes on and on about the working middle class, we would see him on his first yacht or throwing around his first hundred- because really, what young person who doesn’t go through those time honored traditions?

• Disney!- Since once again, Miss America has found its home on ABC, this year we saw the contestants frolicking about in the magical world of Disney. I remember when I was younger thinking how badly I wanted to be a contestant, just for a free trip to Disney World, hanging out with all those gorgeous gals. Cut to tonight- when members of one side of Congress will act like they have perpetual springs in their ass, while the other side, will have looks on their faces like they have been sucking down lemons. (See Below. Could John Boehner look anymore pissed to be clapping?)

What if, at the end of the evening tonight, we got to see shots of congressmen riding Splash Mountain, Senators spinning on the Tea Cups, and President Obama and John Boehner running, hand in hand with Mickey Mouse, castle in the background, showing the pure joy that only Walt Disney’s magic can bring? Wouldn’t we all have a little more hope for America?

• Give Um’ The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle- The Miss America contestants are talented. Just ask the future doctors, lawyers, teacher and professionals who have all been a part of the program. But oh- do these girls like their rhinestones. The Miss America contestants will put rhinestones on anything- even their posteriors, which really can’t be comfortable. I can only imagine that’s what has happened in the below picture- she slipped, fell and is not butt-jumping from the pain of a rhinestoned-ass. (Full disclosure: she was a jump-roper. I’ve heard her talent is actually pretty awesome. And I would decorate EVERYTHING with rhinestones. And pretty much have.) BUT I DIGRESS.

If only, just once, the people at the State of the Union could show up in full ball gowns, the men in bedazzled suits. We would rate them, not just for  the intelligent people they are, but their poise, physical fitness and use of bling to highlight their “ass”-ets. State of the Union- win.

• Last but not least- A Crowning Moment to Remember  In the State of the Union there are rarely winners. Commentators of the left praise new visions set forth by President Obama and commentators on the right swear he’s putting an end to “Our here free-doms with his socialist, communist, math-doin ways.” Everyone sort of loses in this scenario except those at home, playing State of the Union Drinking games. They are winners. BUT, in the debates, there are undeniably winners-  specifically those who manage to come out seeming even slightly saner than the people next to them. Thus, we need a crowning damn it, as well as family members rushing the stage. This mean- next debate that ol’ Newt wins, we march wife 1, 2 AND 3 out on stage. Talk about fireworks- we won’t need pyrotechnics when we have the tension of all three of those women, huddled around for Newt’s big moment.

Take a cue from last year’s Outstanding Actress crew- everyone loves a good crowning. And some humor. And some not-being-awful. Let’s work on this shall we? 

Obsessions (Part 2)

If you’ll remember, waaaay back in July, I did a list of 5 things I was loving: A southside Indianapolis bakery, an inexpensive line of cosmetics, a British clothing line, a moody cover and a time-killing app for the iPhone lovers.

Now, with slightly more than the 4 readers I had back then, and an ever expanding exploration I thought I would give this another shot. **

1) Which Disney Character will you be today? Disney Bound.

The amazingly talented Megan McKenna sent me the link to a Tumblr entitled Disney Bound and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Leslie Kay, a fashion blogger, decided to combine her love of all things Disney with fun fashion and Disney Bound is the addictive product. Using Polyvore, she creates outfits based on Disney characters that capture their aesthetic and sense of fun. 

I could go on for DAYS with my incredible love for what she does but instead I will move on- and let you check it out for yourself.

(p.s. If you fall in love with the site as much as I have, feel free to vote for her blog at http://bbmchallenge.blackberry.com/desktop/en/us/council/whitney-port/challenges.html)

1.5) And while you’re at it… Phillip Light

Check out the GORGEOUS artwork on the Disney Bound site.

The artist- Phillip Light does all of the illustrations on the site and I am absolutely in love. How much would I KILL to have him make one of these adorable pictures of me? I’m pretty sure my little Disney heart would just melt.

2) Shopping Local becomes Eating Local- Yogulatte

11/26 was Small Business Saturday and doing my duty as an Indianapolis lover (i.e. lover of boutiques and buying things) I went strolling along Mass. Ave. where I made a few purchases including a very fabulous pair of sunglasses from Eye Candy Boutique and a lotus jewelry holder from Silver in the City.

But then I was hungry and what would make this sort of day better than frozen yogurt? Especially when I found out they have seasonal holiday flavors. So really, the question is what could be better than festive holiday frozen yogurt? Nothing.

My apple pie/vanilla bean combo topped with carmel made the fat-kid in me oh-so-happy.

3) Up All Night

I think part of the reason I have such a soft spot for this show is because the relationship between Ava and Reagan is much like my best friend Matt and I. It is also the marriage I aspire to have.

Anyway- I watch it Wednesday at 8:00 on NBC. Check local listings. Or whatever.

4) Reading.

Yes, reading is something I love, especially with my handy dandy iPad making it infinitely easier to always have something new. And here is what I think you should be reading:

• Bossypants by Tina Fey- “Only in comedy,” she writes, about interviewing for a writing job on “Saturday Night Live” in 1997, “does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.”
• Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom- “I am in love with hope,” Albom writes. While it may have been made into a painfully ridiculous “Hallmark Tv Movie” the book is a powerful one. As the holiday season approaches, read it. I promise you won’t regret it.
• Mighty Be Our Power: How Sisterhood, Prayer and Sex Changed a Nation at War- “I always tell people, anger is like liquid. It’s fluid, it’s like water. You put it in a container and it takes the shape of that container. So many people you see in prison, unleashing war on their people, they are angry and they take their anger and put it into a violent container. We took our anger and put it into a peaceful container, and then we just got the power, I think, from God, because that anger in that peaceful container propelled us,” -Peace Activist Leymah Gbowee

5) It’s going to be a wonderful Christmas with Michael Buble’s sexy self singing to me.

I know this is an incredibly cliche white girl Christmas thing. But I can’t help it. Because when he sings to me… well on a cd. Or on a tv. Whatever… I always love him. So until Christmas I will be listening to Christmas- The Special Edition incessantly. And dreaming of his future appearance at my front door, where he croons at me, with the Puppini Sisters bouncing away behind him.

The end.

Have a lovely Holiday.  :)

** I really need another name for this series though. Obsessions- (Part 2) reminds me of Confessions (Part 2). You know, Usher? Baby mama drama? Excessive shirtlessness?

A Holiday Resolution.

Stick with me- this is, at best, a long winded, round about post. (At worst? You’ll be bored and tired by the third paragraph. I’m sorry. I swear I’ll do better tomorrow.)

The theme here is that there are people, whose words will stick with you, well beyond their physical presence in your life.

For me, there were several professors at ISU who I have thought of a lot lately:

1) As a freshman, Darlene Hantzis was a tough and demanding professor whose class I dreaded. She taught my first Communication class and I remember thinking- I can’t do this. Yet by the time I was a senior, I had not only, survived many of her classes but I had changed as a result. She is largely responsible for the maturing of my critical thinking, specifically in regards to race, gender and mass communication.

2) Looking back, I probably had a slight, purely platonic, crush on Jay Clarkson, a teacher I was enamored with from the first time I took his class. He swore like a sailor, openly talked about being gay and hating Sarah Palin and each semester made students cry by bashing Disney and country music. It. Was. Awesome.

He also introduced me to some of the most awesomely ridiculous YouTube videos including Hi, I’m a Tea-Partier (See above), Read a Book and Literal Total Eclipse of the Heart . I always felt he found me irritating, which was probably in large part because, I sort of loved him. He taught me that “My parent says,” is not a valid argument and that more knowledge is to be had from discussion than from all the books in the world. And while his general disdain for Disney has not stopped my love of The Mouse, just this morning I talked with a colleague about the prevalent racism in the portrayal of women and minorities.

3) Deb Worley is probably the professor I worked most closely with as a Public Relations student and her, as well as her husbands, departure from Indiana State is still sad to me. I’ve often thought about writing her- when my first press release was picked up, as I’ve adjusted to agency life and sometimes just to ask advice. Deb was a tough critic, I still have nightmares of her purple inked corrections, but I am a better professional as a result.

4) David Worley, Deb’s husband, was the chairman of the Communication department while I was at ISU and one of the kindest men I’ve ever known. He taught several of the Communication classes I most dreaded (I hated research theory with a PASSION.) but he always made them bearable. Yet what made the deepest impression on me, was the wisdom Dr. Worley would dispense about who we were to become as people and throughout my college career, he played many roles in my life including counselor, sounding board and constant cheerleader.

I’ll never forget his “final thoughts” he’d share at the close of class each week.

Dr. Worley had actually been a minister before he began his teaching career and for a relentless cynic like mw, it would have been easy to roll my eyes at his messages. While never overtly religious, they always had a uniquely spiritual undertone. Yet they were shared from such a place of love, with such caring for each of us as students, they’ve left a mark.

Now where did this ode-to-professors come from, on today of all days?

I had a weird morning.

I hit the snooze button on my alarm at least a half a dozen times before I managed to roll out of bed. After a very lazy weekend I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for this early morning wake-up call.

A few hours later, (after a very hurried get-ready) I received an email that took me by surprise. And it struck me, as I read it, how easy it becomes, when the responsibilities of life come into play, to forget where you started and what you had wanted when you began.

I couldn’t help but think how me pushing the snooze button- putting off the inevitable, was a (rather cheesy) metaphor for life.

Which lead to remembering one of Dr. Worley’s end of week thoughts. I can almost hear his voice as he described a vacant house- the dilapidated front, the roof caving in and demolition crews beginning to tear it down. He asked us to think about what the house had been like when it was new, filled with family and joy. How had it gone from a place of such promise to a place beyond repair? And how easily do we let ourselves go- replacing hope with to-do’s, and forgoing an investment in ourselves with have-to’s and need-to’s?

Which I guess led to this-

We don’t often take the chance to reflect. What got us here? Where do we want to be? Are we asking for what we want, what we need, to make ourselves happy? Have we said enough thank-you’s along the way to the people who got us here?

People usually make New Year’s resolutions, that are forgotten before March Madness’ first tip off. So this year, I propose a 2-part holiday resolution.

First, to say thank you, to those that we haven’t taken time to express our gratitude.

and

Second, despite the busy-ness this season demands, to take some time to remember where we have been and where we are going.

You in?

p.s. In the off chance you are one of the 3 professors from ISU who, on rare RARE occasions, peruses my blog- Do not be offended that you are not on the above list. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. If I made a list of all the people at ISU I thoroughly enjoyed, the 7 people who read this blog would either drift off into a coma or run far far away before the list was ever completed. Know that I left ISU incredibly proud to be a Sycamore and thankful for each and every person I encountered during my four years there.

Ok. Almost every person. I’m feeling VERY warm and fuzzy today but I can’t flat out lie. The only contribution a very select few people made to my life was increased patience and a greater ability to count. As in counting down the days until I no longer had to work with them.

Nostalgia and the holiday spirit can only take me so far.

A Monday Carefrontation.

I’m not a big fan of girls.

This might strike one as odd, considering that I am a female, am friends with females, and generally spend the majority of my time around females. But recent dealing with my-fair-sex has left me… frustrated.

Which is why this Monday we’re going to have:

The ‘Let’s Not Be Pathetic’ List.

1) Take Back the Power in all Future Relationships.

Here’s the deal. From now on, you only pay attention to the men in your life who are working for your attention. Wait. Let me be more specific- You only pay attention to the men who are SPECIFICALLY working HARD for your attention. Not who happen to ask you out, not who text for a few days before going AWOL. The ones who are making real effort.

The guys worth your time, energy and, I’m sure, very specific dreams of the future will be sending you good morning texts. They will be asking to spend time with you, trying to woo you and to continually remind you of their worthiness. They will be surprising you with ridiculous presents and making you feel special, well past the initial “get-in-your-pants” phase. And trust me, the amount of effort, sets the tone for your entire relationship.

This is a wonderful example of effort. And appropriately awesome use of Disney Magic. Good job groom, you are a keeper.

But Taylor, what if they are not sending strong signals they want to work to be with me?

Then imagine they have instead rented out a billboard that says they are not interested in you and therefore, not worth another second of your time.

Move on.

Period.

2) Re-cultivate that Air of Mystery.

When you go on and on about your potential date/not date/boyfriend/not boyfriend, not only does everyone around you zone out, they all begin to secretly despise you.

Keeping in mind that less is more makes you instantly more likeable.

3) Make Rules. (And perhaps learn something from The Rules.)

Remember the controversial 1995 book about how to make a guy fall in love with you entitled “The Rules”?

Me either. But I do remember watching a 7th Heaven episode about it. Mary (Jessica Biel) and Lucy (What in the hell was her name… Beverly Mitchell) have a flirting contest because Mary doubts the validity of “The Rules” that Lucy is excitedly living by.

Who saw that 90′s tv regression coming? No one.

Anyway, here’s what we can learn…

Some of the “rules” in the book are a feminist’s nightmare. Play hard to get? What does that even MEAN?? Am I supposed to be running from a man I’m interested in? At a full blown sprint? That’s just exhausting, and I’d have to imagine confusing for the man. Don’t schedule a Saturday date after Wednesday? Most Wednesdays, I can’t even think of what my weekend looks like yet. I’m busy. I have a life. I’ll make plans when I please. Don’t discuss The Rules? Seriously? What is this- Fight Club??

Then there are rules like: Expect a present on your birthday and don’t rush into sex?

I believe the rule we’re actually looking for here reads as follows:

Have some self respect.

That’s the real secret of the modern day woman, looking to fall in love or you know… Not hate themselves. I just saved you the $12.99 you could have spent, buying some ridiculous self help book. Don’t say The Short List never gave you anything.

The point is- What is important to you? What do you need from a relationship? What are your bottom line expectations for life?

Great. Now don’t settle for less.

4) Let’s think about our standards…

I was discussing with a male friend the idea of opening a door for a woman or paying for her meal and he says, “What about women’s liberation? Isn’t that saying I don’t have to?”

Why yes, men of the world. It is saying you don’t have to.

In the same way I don’t have to give it up to the first man “with means” who bats an eye at me, a la Grandma-era standards.

See, that’s the real beauty of women’s liberation. We DON’T need men. We’d like to want them. And we’d like to feel they want us accordingly. Period.

Therefore, men? Your job is to make us feel wanted.

See, women, isn’t not being pathetic fun?

It brings about men willing to “offer-their-coat-pull-a-chair-chivalry” moments.

Women-Feel free to expect these things. If they don’t feel like offering it, you’re an independent woman and you aren’t looking for just anything. Move along. Quickly.

And Men- Feel free to insert all those things into your dating life. Liberally. Especially if you have annnny hope of inserting anything else… at a later date.

That is all.

Have a wonderful Monday!

Taylor